


What's It Like?

by CitrusVanille



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dialogue-Only, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 01:19:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4502292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CitrusVanille/pseuds/CitrusVanille
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius and Remus talk. They both have a question, will it be answered?</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's It Like?

“Hey, Remus!”

“I’m busy, Sirius.”

“You’re _never_ too busy for me.”

“Well, this time I am.”

“What’s got you in such a mood?”

“I’m not _in_ a mood! I’m just busy!”

“Rem…”

“Just go away, Sirius!”

“Come on, Remus, what’s this about?”

“Nothing! Just leave me alone! Go do something else if you’re bored. Like that pretty Ravenclaw girl you were making out with earlier.”

“ ‘That pretty Ravencl – ’, Remus, is _that_ what this is about? Did you like her? I didn’t know! I – ”

“It’s not about that!”

“Then what _is_ it about?”

“It’s just… you always… and I… it just… I don’t… Oh, never mind!”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“What’s it like?”

“What?”

“Kissing a girl. What’s it like?”

“You mean you’ve never…?”

“Kissed a girl?”

“Yeah.”

“No. I mean, I haven’t. Kissed a girl.”

“Oh.”

“So?”

“What’s it like?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Kinda soft. Sweet. It depends on the girl.”

“How old were you?”

“How old was I when?”

“When you had your first kiss.”

“Twelve, she was thirteen though.”

“Oh. Me, too. I mean, I was twelve, too.”

“Oh, cool.”

“Yeah.”

“Wait a minute…”

“…”

“Didn’t you say you’d never kissed anybody?”

“…”

“You said that you’d never kissed a girl, didn’t you?”

“…”

“So… oh.”

“…”

“Who was he?”

“Someone I liked.”

“Did you kiss him, or did he kiss you?”

“I kissed him.”

“Do you… er… still kiss him?”

“Are we together, do you mean?”

“Er, yeah. I guess.”

“Not really.”

“Not really?”

“We’re not going out.”

“Oh. That’s ok then.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“…”

“…”

“Sirius, are you ok with this? Should I not have told you?”

“No! I mean, it’s good you told me. I’m glad you told me. I’m glad you trusted me. And of _course_ I’m ok with it, you daft wolf.”

“Ok. Good. I wasn’t sure…”

“You can always tell me anything, Remus. I mean it.”

“Ok. You can tell me anything, too, you know.”

“Can I?”

“Of course you can!”

“I wonder…”

“Sirius?”

“Never mind.”

“Are you – ”

“I’m sure. Not right now anyway.”

“All right…”

“What was it like?”

“Kissing a boy?”

“Yes.”

“Kinda soft. Sweet.”

“Depends on the guy?”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve only ever kissed one person.”

“Really? Did you two, er, date for a while? I mean, if your first kiss was when you were twelve, and now you’re sixteen… that’s a long time.”

“We never dated. I only kissed him once. And I know it’s been a long time.”

“You must be a lousy kisser if he only kissed you once.”

“Shut up, Sirius. He didn’t kiss me at all. I kissed him. I told you that.”

“ _Are_ you a lousy kisser?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did he say anything?”

“He didn’t know.”

“What? Remus, are you blushing?”

“He was asleep. He didn’t know I kissed him. I probably am a lousy kisser though.”

“Aw, don’t look so down! I’m sure you’re a great kisser! Though kissing someone when he’s asleep… Why’d you do it?”

“I wanted to. I figured he’d never know, so there would be no damage done… and I almost hoped he’d wake up and kiss me back.”

“Who was this guy?”

“I told you, somebody I liked.”

“Do you still like him?”

“…”

“Remus, do you still like him?”

“Yes.”

“Do you… more than like him?”

“Yes.”

“How much more?”

“I love him, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I love him, and he doesn’t love me, and I kissed him when he was asleep, because I couldn’t help myself, and I wish I could just go and kiss him again, but I _can’t_. And you know why I can’t? Because then he’d hate me, and I couldn’t go on knowing he was out there hating me.”

“Geez, Remus. No one could ever hate you. And if you love this guy, he should thank whomever he believes in, because there’s no way he could ever deserve someone as wonderful as you.”

“…”

“I mean it, Remus. So go. If it will make you happy, you should do it. Kiss him. Tell him you kissed him when he was asleep. Tell him you love him. I’ll help any way I can. If it’ll make you happy.”

“But what if I _am_ a lousy kisser?”

“You can’t possibly be a lousy kisser.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re perfect, Remus.”

“I bet you I am.”

“I bet you you’re not.”

“I bet you I – ”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“… See? I told you that you weren’t a lousy kisser.”

“Siri…”

“So go, kiss the man of your dreams. You deserve to be happy.”

“I did. And I am happy.”

“Kissing him four years ago isn’t enough, Remus. You need to talk to him.”

“Sirius. Why did you kiss me?”

“Because I wanted to. And if you’re going to be happy, I wanted to be, too.”

“I see.”

“…”

“Sirius. I need to tell you something.”

“…”

“I kissed you once, four years ago.”

“What?”

“Just let me say this. I don’t know if I can keep going if you stop me. Sirius, I kissed you four years ago. You were asleep, and I was watching you. I couldn’t stop watching you, since I first met you. You were… beautiful. You _are_ beautiful. You’re my best friend, but I knew it would never be anything more. And I was _happy_. And I didn’t want to ruin anything. But you had your hair in your face, and I leaned in to brush it away, and I was so close to you, and I couldn’t help it. And I just need to tell you that, now. I need to tell you that I have loved you since before I knew you, and if you never want to see me again, or speak to me again, or have anything to do with me ever again, I will understand. I will leave. I’m almost seventeen. Less than a week, now. You will never have to hear from me again. But I just needed you to know – ”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“… What was that for?”

“You talk too much, Remus. You just… talk too much.”

“What?”

“I love you, Remus. How could you ever doubt that?”

“But, all the girls…”

“I couldn’t have you. I had to try to get that through my head. But with them… I could pretend it was you.”

“Oh.”

“So…”

“So…”

“So what’s it like?”

“What?”

“Kissing me?”

“I think I should try it again, and then I’ll let you know.”

“Sounds good to me…”

“…”

**END**  



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